Depression Ever After is a blog about my life with Depression.
I truly believe that I was born with Depression. Even as a young child, I remember feeling sad more than happy. I didn’t have many friends. I was isolated. I was lonely. In a way, it seemed normal, because it’s all I had ever known.
I started really struggling with Depression in high school, at age 14. I noticed that I wasn’t just sad anymore. I was exhausted, I felt hopeless, and constantly on the verge of breaking down. I went through some severe spells, or episodes, of deep Depression. I cried for days on end. I couldn’t get out of bed, let alone leave the house. I felt that I would rather die than live like this.
This roller coaster of ups and downs lasted for about 8 years before I got help. I had sought help from my family doctor, who continuously minimized my concerns. His solution was always to tell me to take my vitamins and get out of the house. I also tried taking a serotonin supplement suggested by a Naturopath. Nothing seemed to help.
Finally, at 22 years old, I went to my family doctor in one final attempt to get help. Again, he suggested vitamins and sunshine as a cure all. I broke down. I fell to the floor of the exam room, gasping for air. I pleaded with him to really help me this time. I admitted that I was afraid for my life. I told him that if he let me walk out of that office one more time without offering me something useful, it would be my blood on his hands.
My doctor prescribed me an anti-depressant. I walked out of that office feeling, for the first time in a very long time, that there was hope. I started taking the anti-depressants that day, and I truly believe that they saved my life.
Now, a few years later, I am still battling that same Demon named Depression. But I have hope. I have both good and bad days. I have made some beautiful memories. Now, when I have a bad day (or days, or weeks) I know that it won’t last forever. There is a light at the end of the tunnel.
My dream is to share my story with the world. To reach out to those who are fighting the same Demon as me. I may not be able to change the world, but my hope is to change the world of those fighting Depression.
This blog is uncensored. This blog is raw. This blog chronicles my battles, my victories, my struggles, my successes. This is my Depression Story.